The good kind of different

Life has been different, lately. But it’s the good kind of different.

The good and sometimes scary kind of different. Is it even possible to experience a dramatic change for the better without being startled once in a while?

I’m practicing not being afraid of change. I mean, I can’t stay broke and stressed out forever–not that I’d really want to– besides, God says not to be afraid. In fact, we are told to be courageous.

So, this season, courage has been enrolling in a pre-service course and applying for jobs I’m not yet completely qualified for. It has been registering for tests and then buying the textbooks. It has been revisiting conversations I probably don’t want to have because the other person wants to talk and it’s important. This season, courage has been putting myself in positions to be affected.

I’d be lying if I said that I never had to wrestle with myself now or that it got easier after the first time. Embracing change goes against my nature; I have to rely heavily on God to try doing great things when I know my own shortcomings.

Courage, however, has paid off. I have a job now. I haven’t started work yet, but they called and sent an email to confirm that the job is mine. The results for my first exam came back and I passed. I feel good about myself. I feel like my faith is a little stronger now than it was in the spring. I feel like things will work out, even while knowing that it won’t all be smooth sailing from here. I am full of hope.

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